It’s been a while since I’ve posted here..
I’ve thought a lot about this blog and how I’ve neglected it in the past 9 months.
Some of you might already know the reason for this prolonged absence…
For those of you who don’t,
On May 22, 2016, my beautiful daughter Boston, left our arms and presence after a tragic accident when we were on a family vacation, to Twin Falls, Idaho. It was devastating to say the very least. One day, hopefully in the near future, I’ll write about that day…
For now, here are my thoughts…
One thing that has become very apparent to me, is that after you loose a child, everything changes. Your life, your family dynamic, the day to day… and honestly you.
I think it’s fitting that the nature of this blog will change too.
I think this will be a good place for me to write down all of my feelings. A journal of sorts. I think part of my duty as someone whose has lost, is to help others who’ve lost.
A new friend of mine, Courtney, has helped me to realize that we are all connect through our common experience.
Right now I am experiencing the grief associated with loosing a precious child of our family, and I know that I am not alone in this!
It’s the easiest thing in the world to feel alone when your in the depths of sorrow and no one else around you is… It’s incredibly isolating. It’s also no ones fault. It’s just the nature of the situation.
But if I can connect with someone else grief, then maybe I can help them to feel not so alone….
Megan Hoeppner says
I have not lost a child, but I have felt a deep impact by your loss and your willingness to share. As I’ve remarked before, your heartfelt, often painful posts, are regular reminders to me to not take the life I have for granted. Being a mom is hard. I get frustrated. I get cranky. I don’t like that. I don’t want to see my beautiful blessings from God as anything other than that. On the days I’m annoyed or grumpy as a mother and I happen upon something you’ve been willing to share, it honestly helps turn our day around. It’s a slap in my face I need that I have GIFTS before me and to treasure those moments. I HATE that it comes from your immense loss. So much. But I do want to reiterate that your willingness to journal and share helps me so much. Thank you, from my heart, for being vulnerable, and real, and raw, and honest. May God be with you as you continue along your path. <3
Alexes Brown says
Oh Megan, I always love your comments so, so much! It validates my feelings so much and in a world where people are more often silent than not, it’s something that inspires me to move forward. Thank you, for taking the time to read this and to comment. Hugs to you my friend!!
Megan Hoeppner says
If something I write can help you in the slightest as you navigate your way, then I am so grateful to have taken the time to leave a note. Your words help many. FAR more than will ever reach out and say and far more than you’ll likely ever realize. You have a voice and a unique and deep message. It’s brave of you to take the responsibility to share your grieving and living process. You certainly don’t have to. Nobody would expect an ounce from one in your position. But you do it anyway. I know it helps you, but I see deeper meaning in it than even that. It seems like you feel a pull to vocalize in the hopes of touching another. That is a strong position to be in. I don’t know if I could do the same. I admire you. <3
Kelly Jean says
Hello dear. I also have not been a Mom, but I blog openly about our fertility issues and we have gone through two failed transfers. I know the sting of failure, of loss, and heartbreak. It is so hard. I hope you can find comfort and understanding, although that may take a very very long time, and we need to be okay with that. One day at a time. Just take it one day at a time. And allow yourself to be vulnerable and sad and angry and every single thing you are feeling.
PS: Jen Gallagher lost a young son and talks about it on her blog sometimes. I hope it finds you comfort.